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Amazon Indian

By Billy Shears, 180 degrees news

Kate Huntington-Brideshope, coordinator of the Amazon Indian Initiative in the sleepy English village of Oakstead; ‘The Amazon Indians wear feathers in their hair, big round things in their lips, paint themselves and dance, and also have a spiritual relationship with trees. They are delightful. Gypsies wear garish clothes, use foul language and do second rate tarmac driveway jobs. We don’t think they should be exterminated, but just go somewhere else, so that we can set up an Interpretative centre for Amazonian Indians and for other humanitarian causes that are close to our hearts, but a long way away from our beautiful sandstone doorsteps.

My heart is heavy when I read in the Guardian or the Observer about the rainforest disappearing and their colourful indigenous nomadic tribes being mistreated. I cry real tears into my organic cotton fair trade handkerchief when I think about it. If we had an Amazon Indian Interpretative centre in our village where we caring upper-middle class people could meet to discuss these issues that have global resonance, whilst drinking decent wine, I would feel much better about myself. We can even raise funds for one of these tribal people to come here and dance for us, oh that would be jolly fun’.

Tinky Whitley-Smith-Chubbington, lead fund raiser of the Amazon Indian Initiative states, ‘I have always been a big supporter of human rights of exotic looking peoples that are far away. I even have a picture of the Dalai Lama beside my homely wood stove. The Interpretative Centre will provide a greater opportunity to show off my environmental and global ethnic credentials. Even though I use a massive status symbol Range Rover to pick up little Josh from harp lessons and have four foreign holidays a year, I will always cycle to the Interpretative centre, to show others that I take my carbon foot print seriously.

We simply must save the remaining tribes of Amazonian Indians, their land and nomadic way of life are under such threat, it should be seen as our problem, not only their problem. We are all connected on this small fragile planet. We must think locally but act globally, or is it the other way round?

Anyway as there is no place to build the Interpretative Centre apart from the 1000s of acres of empty countryside we use for riding and walking our pedigree dogs, the golf course, bowling, cricket club and tennis courts, we will have to shift those travelling folk from that horrid eyesore camp and build it there. Why can’t they just live like normal people, follow civilised rules and pay tax? I am fed up subsidising them, they are not our problem’.

Pat Doherty spokesperson for the local traveling community says, ‘Looks like we will be on the road again soon. Its a shame as my little Mike was just starting to settle into school here, one of the other kids actually talked to him without making a racial hate remark for the first time yesterday. Being an unfashionable ethnic group is not easy. I’m prepared to learn the rain dance and wear moccasins if that helps our chances?’.

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