July 3, 2022

The core inspirational messages from the anti-Scottish independence Better Together campaign such as ‘there is uncertainty’, ‘no’, ‘it won’t work’, ‘we cannot pay for it, and ‘you won’t be able to watch EastEnders’ are making ripples far beyond the shores of Scotland. Among the many other nations that used to be under the control of London but have since broken free, the Better Together campaign has got leaders deeply questioning what they are missing with Independence.

President Obama states, ‘ We were brought up to admire the many nationalists who fought and died for the independence of this great nation, but after listening to the leader of the Better Together campaign, Alistair Darling’s ‘can’t do’ philosophy, I am certainly asking myself some fundamental questions about the benefits of self-determination and of being an independent nation.

I’m now pretty much convinced that we should hand over 90% of the oil profits from Texas to London and that major political decisions about our nation should be taken by a government in London that we didn’t elect. It certainly takes the pressure off me and I could dedicate more time to improving my golf swing. Also, I have heard a lot about this program EastEnders, sounds really exciting. Is it anything like Breaking Bad? If so might well be worth trading independence for’.

The Better Together campaign’s infectious arguments have even got leaders of non-x-British colonies lamenting and reconsidering past unions.

Prime Minister of Norway, Erna Solberg, ‘We are a pretty comparable nation to Scotland in terms of resources and population, we were also in a union with our larger neighbour, but when our citizens voted for independence from Sweden in a referendum in 1905, 99.95% voted Yes. But I think that is because we didn’t have a Better Together campaign to put the fear into us back then.

I think Norwegian voters are now fed up with independence, it is all too safe. We have a caring, responsive and representative government that has steered the country to effectively and wisely use its resources for the welfare of the people. We put our oil money into a US$810 billion oil fund as security for our citizens’ future. Scottish oil wealth was probably used to build the M25 around London and there isn’t a penny saved for the future. That’s the kind of live for today, not tomorrow, edgy decision making our citizens crave. After considering the Better Together campaign’s negative arguments about self rule, I think returning powers to Stockholm again for a bit of remote governance will set us on the right path again’.

President Obama provides some concluding food for thought. ‘Over the centuries many thousands, hundreds of thousands of people felt it was such a worthy cause to seek independence from London they gave up their lives for it. Now Scotland is being offered that choice on a plate without any loss of life.

Instead of losing all those lives, all we really needed was the fatherly and dismissive voice of people in the Better Together campaign telling us not to be silly and think we can run our own affairs better than London does. Even though David Cameron stated that ‘It would be wrong to suggest that Scotland could not be another successful independent country’, Alistair Darling provides the visionary revelation, ‘Why make a choice (for independence) we don’t have to make’. That’s the kind of game changing message we needed back in the day when we were making our own choices about independence, that would have stopped George Washington in his tracks.’

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