March 29, 2023

‘I have this thing about wallpaper texture in hotel rooms,’ reveals Cheryl (23) from Brighton, ‘I want to rub my fingers across it and then with tracing paper take a pencil rubbing of it so I can develop an extensive collection where I can compare and contrast the textures from all major upmarket hotels.
So when I caught the eye of a famous drunk footballer in a nightclub at 2 am, and we kissed and he asked me if I would like to come back to his hotel room, I first of all checked I had my 2B pencil and some tracing paper ready and then, of course, accepted his request, why wouldn’t I? It’s a perfect opportunity to get another rubbing for my collection from an expensive hotel room I could never afford to visit on my own.
Then when I entered the room with him, with my tongue down his throat, I was so excited at seeing a wonderfully textured wall surface with a kind of stand-out golden Paisley pattern, something new for my collection. I couldn’t wait to get my tracing paper and pencil out of my Versace handbag and get started.
Then I couldn’t believe what had happened. What on earth was he thinking!? I went into complete shock as that monster bizarrely misread the whole intention I had for coming to his hotel room and started trying to put his hand down my hot pants. I was outraged, utterly shocked, and felt deeply violated.
Luckily for me, after a couple more glasses of champagne and him autographing my mid-riff with lipstick, he was too drunk to continue his assault and fell asleep with his face in a kebab he bought on the way back to the hotel.
Ever since that night, I have been a shaking mess, unable to watch football on TV and beyond doing my sexy but tasteful photoshoot for the Sun and Daily Mirror newspapers in my expose of this monster. I have lost all confidence in appearing in public and lost all trust in my men.
This whole incident has destroyed me, and I can’t bring myself to continue my passion for doing pencil rubbings of textured hotel wallpaper. I have had to limit myself to tree bark rubbings instead, mainly sycamores and an occasional oak tree which just aren’t the same.
If a woman cannot feel safe to pursue her hobby without molestation at 2 am in a rich drunken footballer’s hotel room, when and where can she feel safe?’

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